we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
