I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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