Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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