I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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