I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize