i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
