I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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