Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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