just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
