Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
