I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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