Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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