shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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