I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize