What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
