hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
