i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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