Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
