You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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