We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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