Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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