he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
