she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
