these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
