That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize