you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
