do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
