I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
