that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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