I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
that's an acceptable place to lick
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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