Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize