He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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