if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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