You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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