I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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