I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
