I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize