their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
