omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
