I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
