If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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