I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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