he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize