ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
