Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The air taste purple.
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