Sry I called you an 8
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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