East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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