That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
