so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
