I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
