This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
