i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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