You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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