ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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