yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
