So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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