he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
