But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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