i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Welp...herpes.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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