This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
