"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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