The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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