I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
we're so committed to being not committed
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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