i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
