Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she pinky promised me she was 18
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
whose parrot is this?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
