Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
