physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
