I want to stick my p in your. b.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
