I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
