I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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