toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
