I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
