Porn is love you can see.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
When are your genitals available?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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