apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
