We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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