We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
